Sunday, April 05, 2009
Posted by E at 8:21 AM
My birthday is coming up and every year I buy myself a Television DVD box set that I want with money I get for my birthday. This year I have spent my time drooling over the Sports Night 10th Anniversary set. The only problem is that the economy sucks and I'm pretty sure that the money I get for my birthday should go toward more responsible things. This is okay. That DVD box set isn't going anywhere, I can always buy it when things are a little more stable - besides the price might even be lower then!
My point is this is just another string of little things that make me look down on my birthday this year. Aside from the fact that I am turning a nice round number that I would prefer to put off a year, I've been getting the feeling that if I thought people would look down on my being single in my 20s they are going to be even more brutal and judgmental in my 30s. It's unfortunate that I am the only single non-married or non-common-law-married person at my work. Nothing is ever said directly to me but there are lots of comments about people they know who aren't married. They forget I am in the room. And while I'm glad they're not targeting their comments right at me, the ones about getting older and not having a partner to get old with are starting to get to me again. I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay either way and I don't like when I have to remind myself of something that is already true. I may die the old cat lady (except with dogs) and I have to make peace with that.
Once again I've gotten way off track through the need to vent. But I have to say, despite the little shindig I am throwing for my birthday, I would be okay if it just came and went and no one noticed. Between the anxiety over money, the anxiety over not fitting a social mold, the anxiety over just about everything in general... well let's just say I'm not looking forward to my birthday.
But all of this crazy regarding a day that will pass so quickly I won't even notice is ridiculous. I was born on April the 14th and during that year I was born on a Saturday. This was EXCELLENT news because one day before and i would've had the pleasure of being born on Friday the 13th... and a day later I would've been born on Easter AND permanently share my birthday with the day taxes are due. I was born on the perfect day of that weekend, a day that while isn't ONLY my own is not one I have to share with a nationally hated day. And I certainly don't have to worry if my birthday falls on a Friday.
So right now I'm making a pact with myself to shut up and stop complaining about my damn birthday. I was born on a good day, people tell me their 30s are always better than their 20s, I have plenty of my life (cross my fingers and knock on wood) to still determine what path I want to take socially... and like I said... that DVD box set will be mine one day, even if it isn't this month! Things aren't so bad, I just have to remember to look at them in a positive light... as Lloyd Dobler once said "Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?" It's true. I'm deciding to get in a good mood.